3 Things Magazines Don’t Tell You about Sex
How can something so wonderful feel so much like an item on a to-do list?
The marital sexual relationship is a beautiful part of our lives. It is also one of the most confusing and frustrating aspects as well. It can easily turn into a tug-of-war if you view it as something owed to you—or something you see as a chore.
The media, the internet, and magazines in the check-out line love to tell us how our sex lives should look. We have been force fed images that confuse us and damage our perception of sex. Magazines don’t do us any favors. They don’t print the real story—doing a million dishes, tucking your kids into bed, and collapsing onto a bed filled with toddler books and cracker crumbs as you promise your spouse you’ll have sex tomorrow because you cannot fathom being touched by anyone, anywhere, for any reason. If it did, I might actually buy that magazine.
I know our culture shows us what sex isn’t, but here are a few things it is:
1. Sex is cuddling.
Many women complain that they don’t get enough cuddling time, and wish a hug didn’t always turn into sex. But really, it is a win-win because sex can be very cozy and cuddly. The need for sexual satisfaction, and the need for physical touch can be met at the same time. We need skin to skin contact because it boosts the immune system and gives us a sense of well being. It is proven to decrease anxiety and pain. Touching and being touched is so underrated. Don’t always look at it as “I have to have sexual intercourse,” look at it as a very close snuggling. A way to create a priceless sense of closeness between you and your spouse. So, give your husband a “bare hug,” knowing it will leave you both feeling happy.
2. Sex is a tiny getaway.
When you are roaming around your house, you are an open target. Your kids can and will find you no matter what. I can’t tell you the amount of times we have been interrupted by the needs of our children. Some days it takes all day to have a full conversation about something trivial. There are days when it feels impossible to spend any quality time with just my husband. I love my little ones dearly, but there are times when I wish they couldn’t find me. It’s especially difficult with all of the technology around us. Phone calls, texts, television, laptops. More than ever we have to fight for time alone together in our marriage. A dark, quiet room is actually a tiny vacation. Nobody is there but you and your spouse. We forget how precious this is. It’s carved away time that should be celebrated and treasured.
3. Sex is a sacred gift.
We often view sex as a way to receive pleasure. We are a society that specializes in self gratification. God is so wise in the way he designed the sexual relationship. You have to give in order to receive, and both are brought emotionally closer in the process. Instead of viewing sex as something your spouse it taking from you, look at it as a way to give. We give all day long, and I know that get’s tiring, but this is a gift that gives back. Don’t you feel so loved when your spouse gives you a gift? It could be his time, a present, a little note, or kind words. When you reach out to your spouse, you are really saying to them, “I want you—you make me happy.” Deep down, we all need to know we are wanted and loved. Sex is a perfect way to shout this to your spouse. It’s a sacred and mysterious connection that can’t fully be explained, but should be thoroughly appreciated and enjoyed.
Reevaluate the way you look at sex. View it as God created it—a beautiful bond, a way to connect, a gift.
