Thankfulness Has Nothing to Do With Your Situation
The scariest part about being diagnosed with a brain tumor was the not knowing—having such scary possibilities. As soon as I caught my breath, and was finally able to say something, I asked the doctor “Is it dangerous?” He said, “I can’t make you any guarantees. We just don’t know yet.”
We just don’t know yet. We don’t know exactly how big it is. We don’t know what other parts of my brain it has been or will be damaging. We don’t know if it has spread. We don’t know if I’ll ever get my eyesight back. We don’t know… we don’t even know if it’s benign.
All these thoughts flew through my head as the room spun around me. My ears were screaming, my heart was pounding, I was sure my throat was closing up.
I didn’t know a thing about what came next, and I didn’t have power over a single part of it. This was the most scary feeling I ever could have imagined.
When life throws you those moments of complete disaster, all you want to do is wish them away. If they’d just go away, you’d never be ungrateful again, right?
These are the pleads I started making with God. Please just let this be nothing and I’ll never be unhappy, ungrateful, or jealous ever again. Let it be some mistake, and I’ll never be unhappy with what I had before.
It’s not long before we slip back into our ungrateful selves
Unfortunately, as nice as that sounds, it’s only a matter of time until we slip back into the selfishness and sinfulness of our own hearts.
I’m so incredibly grateful that God brought me through this so faithfully. I’m so thankful that literally thousands of people around the world were praying for me and encouraging me during the process. I’m grateful for an amazing surgeon and medical team. And I have no idea what I would have done without my husband and family by my side every step of the way.
But I have to constantly strive to stay thankful. Because as sad as it is, I’ll soon get back to my regular routine and most of this will be just a thing of the past. That time I got diagnosed with a brain tumor. A story to tell.
Thankfulness is a daily choice
The fact is, you don’t have to go through something like this to be truly grateful for what you have. It certainly gave me a reality check, and I’ll never be the same. I’d like to say I’ll never take my health for granted, but eventually, I’ll fall back into the cycle of just living life—expecting each day to go just the same as the one before.
It’s up to each and every one of us not just to trust God with the unknowns, but to be grateful for what we have now. Yes, life will drag you through the mud, but it’s up to you to be thankful—no matter if you’re in the best time of your life, or the worst.
“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” —1 Thessalonians 5:18
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