Fifty Shades of Grey: Is Anyone Else Concerned?

I don’t want to deal with this. Bleh.

It’s not going away, so I am just going to say this and move on.

Fifty Shades of Grey is everywhere. I will say, I have not read this book. I scanned a few sample chapters online to get a good idea of the storyline. I was fairly traumatized. And felt sad. Sentences about the main charatcter’s inner goddess jumping up and down like a cheerleader with poms poms made me cringe.

For whatever reason, women are turning those pages, even while pumping their gas. I saw this with my own eyes. I had to honk at the woman in front of me in line. She might have stood there for another hour. She was devouring that book. I wanted to holler out my van window, “Really?! You want some guy to knock you around in the name of fun? Because I thought that was actually a BAD thing!”

Our sex-saturated culture is a monster.

A greedy, self-serving monster that is tramping all over men, women, and children like there is no tomorrow. Do I sound to extreme? Because I feel I am being mild in my description. I actually think it’s a lot worse than that. The difficult part is that I know that there is a little bit of monster in us all, otherwise things would not be so out of control and upside down.

“For your obedience is known to all, so that I rejoice over you, but I want you to be wise as to what is good and innocent as to what is evil.” —Romans 16:19

When I read about Fifty Shades of Grey, I wondered why nobody else seemed concerned. Full on pornography is in our homes with just the click of a button, so maybe this isn’t a huge deal. (Pssst…we are getting desensitized.) I guess we are willing to be swept away by anything that tantalizes us. Or maybe it’s the proverbial frog in the boiling water. We are being conditioned to accept abusive behavior.

This book twists the good gift God gave us.

We have exchanged the God ordained covenant between a man and woman, for something shallow and meaningless. Women are no doubt lonely these days, so maybe they are willing to accept, even embrace this kind of twisted dynamic? Being sexually owned by a man who has total control of you is something most ladies go see counselors for.

I am shocked women aren’t picketing.

Honestly, this book portrays women as idiots who are too stupid to come in out of the rain. It highlights the victimized woman, which is so ironic considering the recent call to action against human trafficking and sex crimes. Come on, women . . . you are too smart to accept this backward step. Teach your daughters what personal boundaries look like.

I hope to splash some cold water on this creepy book and movie. I want to flip the light on. Sound an alarm. And I am hoping the women who get angry about their husbands viewing pornography will not be in this ticket line. Because what on earth is the difference?

Why chase after a lie?

If you think reading this book, or seeing this movie will spark something beneficial in the bedroom, you are mistaken.

Sex in the right context is GOOD.

Sex used as a tool for control is ABUSE.

Is this not an elementary rule? What is happening to us? Do we want to condition young women into accepting the role of a victim in the guise of mutuality and excitement?  Violence and pain are not romantic. And if they are, then don’t mind me, I will be off in some corner quietly reading Jane Austen, while trying to forget how bad things really have become.

Reject the idea that sex is self-serving.

Please young lady, hold out for the man who will love you like Christ loved the church. A man who values your emotions, your intellect, and your spirituality as well as your physical attributes. When you feel drawn to this kind of experience, think it through to the end of the relationship.

Being used also means being tossed aside. And being tossed aside requires a long healing process. And that really hurts. So raise your eyes to a higher standard. Look for a man who is willing to give you his devotion as well as his body. Tell Mr. Grey to go…fly a kite.

Don’t become the villain.

There is still beauty in protecting the woman you love and fighting the evil dragon in order to save her.

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” —Ephesians 5:25

Please men, don’t become the evil dragon. Because I can promise you that your wife or future wife did not wile away the hours daydreaming about being used. She daydreamed about being swept off her feet by a man who loves and protects her. A man who is strong but gentle. A man who is willing to take care of her, and cherish her long after her beauty fades away. A man who gives more than he takes.

I know, this sounds too good to be true, but by God’s redeeming grace, it’s possible.

It takes years to cultivate an intimate sexual connection.

YEARS of trust, acceptance, love, and patience. Don’t let our culture tell you what your bedroom should look like.

How frightening is that? It will feed you a shallow, pathetic version of true love. It will tell you that a one night stand is a good thing. It will leave you crying in your bedroom alone, wondering why you chose such a selfish guy. You will wonder why you keep making bad choices. You will start to think your “picker” is broken. Don’t settle for this kind of counterfeit encounter. Hold out for more.

Still, thousands will flock to see this movie.

Moms will bring their daughters. Daughters will form misconceptions about themselves and will allow themselves to be used, because it looked so normal on that silver screen.

“Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but instead even expose them; for it is disgraceful even to speak of the things which are done by them in secret.” —Ephesians 5:11-12

There will be fallout, because young people are shaped by media. And then we will stand around scratching our heads and asking each other where we went so wrong as a civilized people. But nobody will point fingers at the trashy things being fed to our kids. Because we allowed it in the first place.

I’ll be honest . . . this is all too much.

I have lost a little hope in humanity. It’s bleak. Not just because of the grime all around me, but because of my own selfishness as well. I hate that I sound like I am shoving morality down your throat, but how far down are we going to sink? How close to the edge do we need to teeter before we jump away from our certain demise?  It’s all too much. Call out to God.

I know I will get some backlash for this post. Feel free to comment and tell me how lame I am. But if I have inspired one mother to protect her daughter (and herself) from this movie, it’s worth it.

Mr. Darcy used to be the type of man girls swooned over.

Now it’s Mr. Grey.

Can the standard get any lower?

Probably.

But God is gracious, and His love endures forever. No matter how scary things get all around us.

Update: just a reminder that while healthy discussion is allowed (and encouraged!), personal attacks, off-topic comments, and explicit language are not. We practice our right to approve or deny comments that do or do not follow these guidelines. Thanks, everyone!