Why We Need Heat and Friction
Are you in a dry spot? Do you feel like you will never reach the oasis? Maybe you are like me and get sick and tired of the uphill battle and would like a little rest.
Here is the good news: after you walk through the desert, you will be changed for the better. I was. I learned valuable lessons while trudging through the sand. I can’t say I didn’t complain or whine. And sometimes I think God drug me face first, but I look back and feel grateful for the wisdom gained. It may seem unending. You may feel there is very little progress going on, but God is working. It is tempting to believe nothing is changing.
For us, one moment things were fine, and then at the flip of a switch, we were in the middle of chaos. I started to wonder if we would ever learn to be patient and gracious and loving…at the same time. It’s hard to imagine good results in the middle of despair. But I am telling you, the clear, blue water is out there. We have splashed around in it. And it is wonderful. Just keep going. Don’t give up.
“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” —Galatians 6:9
The most difficult times produce tremendous growth
As we battle our way through, God is changing us. Refining and shaping. It hurts like crazy, and there are some very dark moments. But we will not grow as much if we don’t walk through trials. Many wives tell me that all of the failure and struggling brought them closer to their spouses. They are more connected and communicate better than ever. This can take years of effort, but it is so worth it. I respect couples who have been married for decades. They are modern-day warriors.
It isn’t the lovey-dovey feelings of new romance that got them through. It was blood, sweat and tears. It was a promise and determination. Embrace the conflict, and grow in it. It will make you into a woman of wisdom; a woman who can reach out and help younger wives in their marriages.
“Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tried you in the furnace of affliction.” —Isaiah 48:10
Don’t forget to read the bible
Anxiety is a thorn in my flesh. I have struggled with it for years. If you battle anxiety and you are reading my words, I know you are feeling empathy right now. Anyone who has dealt with it, knows how defeated it makes you feel. I recently walked into my doctor’s office, without an appointment, and promptly burst into tears. I told him about all of the things I was fearful of. It took a good twenty minutes. He pursed his lips, looked down at his paper, and wrote me a prescription. It said: “20 MINUTES OF PSALMS A DAY.”
Was he kidding me? Nope.
No matter how overwhelmed we feel, we can always find comfort and truth in scripture. It was a good reminder to me. I try to find answers everywhere, but forget to bring my cares to the Lord first and foremost. Scripture is like a reset button during moments of melt down. Psalms is now the last thing I read before bed. Sometimes, when I am feeling extra anxious or fearful, I will even sleep ON my bible.
The more I surrender and loosen my tight grip on things, the more peace I feel. It is a process. A long one. But it’s the only way. If I am going to struggle, I may as well struggle in the right direction; towards God and not away. The next time I saw Dr. Joe I asked him why he chose Psalms for me to read. He said my fearful words reminded him of King David, who constantly freaked out, but always ended his frantic prayers with trust in God. He told me that most of the time I am running and screaming from invisible arrows anyway.
David is a great example of continually surrendering and trusting.
C. S. Lewis wrote this about Psalm 19, “I take this to be the greatest poem in the Psalter and one of the greatest lyrics in the world.”
“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.” —Psalm 19:14
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