To the Woman Who Regrets Her Abortion

Dear sister,

I have thought about you for weeks.

I wanted to write this letter a while ago, but I was afraid. I am certain that since millions of babies have been aborted, that means millions of women are walking around hurting. I knew this letter had to be written with tenderness and concern. I couldn’t write it flippantly, as if I had some idea of what you have gone through, or what you have felt, since having an abortion.

I don’t know what brought you to that place, and I don’t know the steps you have walked since that day, but I know you are a precious person, made in the image of God. I don’t even know if you regret your decision to have an abortion, but that is beside the point. One day, it might come at you and level you.

You may be one of many who feel like a piece of themselves is lost forever. I want to acknowledge the seriousness of that, and offer compassion to you. You might someday find yourself guilt-ridden, so I want you to remember this letter just in case. Because there is hope. And there is a place to bring your broken heart. There is a way to find freedom from the weight you feel, or might one day feel from that abortion.

I want to set aside the arguments for now.

I want to look beyond the obvious, and tell you that you matter greatly. I am sorry if you have felt hurt by recent articles, and news stories. I am sorry if it has given you anxiety or painful moments.

I have talked with dozens of women who have been through your circumstance, and if you are anything like they are, you are carrying around a lot of grief. Their wounds have not gone away, and the sometimes their quiet moments taunt them and condemn them, and it’s almost more than they can stand. Like them, you might be trying to make up for your mistake. You might be spinning your wheels as you prove to God you are worthy of his love.

You can stop all that.

Jesus paid your way.

There is an escape from the anguish.

Lift your head, sister. 

Certain choices hurt more than others.

I have been told that babies aren’t the only victims of abortion, and I believe that. Countless women look back and wonder why they did it. Fear, confusion, pressure . . . maybe it seemed like the only answer.  On that day, in that moment, it felt like the best choice. Maybe you went in there ignorant or full of unbelief that you even carried a real baby. Maybe you marched in and demanded you be given the right to not have that child. Either way, you are in danger of experiencing tremendous pain from that decision.

None of us are clean.

With recent developments, you might be cringing every time you have to see another post about abortion. It’s like salt in the wound, and you just want to forget it. But let’s take a step back, and let’s accept the fact, that all of our hands are dirty. We have nothing to offer up to God, in light of all of our failures.

You see, my failures and shame scream just as loudly. I am not pointing at you, I am pointing us both to Jesus, the only One who can rescue us and take away the pain that comes after we fail so badly. And in His eyes, we see grace. The grace he lavishes on us. He has freed us from the unrelenting, unforgiving voice that condemns us of our wrongdoings. Where else can we go, with our broken hearts, but to Jesus? Who can promise freedom like that? Who else in heaven do we have?

When you made that decision, He knew you would need Him. He is there, and if you are a Christian, you are covered by the blood that was shed for you by Jesus. One day, God will put all things right, but you don’t have to wait until that day to feel peace and freedom. I pray you experience it now.

He overcame for you.

He loves you. Even so.

He is there to heal your hurt.

He intercedes for you.

He gave his life, so you could live free.

How can we hide in fear knowing this?

Please dear sister, don’t hang your head.

Look up, and accept the forgiveness that is yours. It sounds too good to be true. But it is true. That is what makes it all so beautiful. I sit here, at my keyboard with tears streaming. I have lost sleep for you, I have worried about you. I have been reluctant to speak out against abortion because I didn’t want to hurt you even more. Every single time I share a post about abortion, I pause and think of you. I wonder if I am hurting you too much by bringing it up.

But I realized, I can speak up as long as I wrap it in genuine love for you.

We are all guilty and ashamed of what we have done, and what we have become. You aren’t worse. You aren’t beyond receiving forgiveness. You are loved, and accepted. Fully, and completely. I am sorry for your pain. I am so, so sorry.

Are you considering having an abortion?

I pray God protects you. I don’t want you to go through that kind of hurt. You will never regret having that child. If I am wrong, you can personally talk with me. I will do anything I can to help you. I adopted a daughter. She is a miracle to us. I cannot imagine my life without that child. She was possibly unplanned and unwanted. But God had a plan for her life. Adoption is an amazing gift, and it shouts redemption from the rooftops. It takes a difficult situation and turns it into a glorious act of love. I want you to message me if you have found yourself tempted to abort your baby and I will do my best to find you the help you need. There are many resources and ministries who will help you walk through this.

All of these words are penned with the utmost sincerity, and I admit that I don’t know the road you have walked, or are currently walking. I won’t insult you by pretending I do. But I do want to remind you,

“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” —Romans 8:1

Did you hear that? Say it out loud if you need to.

I am committing to pray for you.

I know you might lash out at me, because you are offended I would assume you regret that abortion. I will still pray. Because one day you will need to know the saving grace of Jesus. It’s the most important thing you have when hurt sets in. It’s the only thing that helps me when I wake up in the middle of the night, with all of my wrongdoings swirling around me in the night. When sleeps eludes me because I am feeling guilty or afraid. It’s the only thing that chases it away so I can rest. It’s the only place I can go for true peace.

I pray you also find and know that peace. Women often say they had an abortion because they felt alone. Rather than get upset after the abortion takes place, let’s try to be more connected to those in need of support. I encourage anyone reading this to reach out to other women, so they don’t feel so alone. It could make all the difference.

With humbleness and love,
Michelle