What it Means to Be a “1 Peter 3 Wife” {Part 3}
Our dear friend, Lorraine, is sharing her story this week. Please follow along! (If you’re just joining us, please read part 1 and part 2 of Lorraine’s story first.)
I totally loved being a “1 Peter 3 wife,” and do you know what? I had fallen in love with my Heavenly Husband and things slowly began to change in my life and in the lives of those around me. Now my focus and the aim of how I lived my life was changing. I found myself wanting to obey my Father and what I read in his word, not out of a duty, or because of what I thought was expected of me, but out of love for Christ Jesus.
Finding internal adornment
A true “1 Peter 3 wife” is encouraged even more to carefully to obey God’s word; that by her probity, the qualities of having strong moral integrity, honesty, uprightness, and virtue, she might allure her husband to faith in Christ Jesus. In my case, I helped my husband remember who was Lord of his life, turn away from dangers of evil sin, and repent. The passage goes on to say in verse 3 that a ‘1 Peter 3 wife” must not have her adornment externally, but internally! I could so relate to this, for I had lost a lot of weight, tried to get into shape, wore nice clothes, and kept my hair nice–all to try and get my husband to love me. None of it worked!
The whole way and purpose of living a ‘1 Peter 3’ way actually liberated me. I was no longer “trying” to make my husband love me—I now lived only for Christ. I remembered that Christ loved me before the foundation of the world, even while I was still in my sin. I kept in mind that even if my husband no longer wanted to remain my husband, it was not my problem, because God was the only one who could change him. My call was to follow Jesus’ command in Matthew 22: 37-38; when he said, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment.” To love God then, means to obey his commands (John 14:15). The Gospel works from the inside out, and the Gospel truly does transform us.
“and I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules.” —Ezekiel 36:26
Love, prayer, and grace—when he doesn’t “deserve” it
Respect your husband, even if you do not think he deserves it. Remember we do not deserve what Christ has done for us. He loved us even whilst we were in our sin (Romans 5: 8). Do not go out of your way to be spiteful or ‘get your own back,’ just cover him in prayer and earnestly seek the Lord for him. Immerse yourself in God’s word and pursue the Lord only. Keep connected to your husband as much as you are able, and leave the rest up to God. Be patient and remember Romans 8:28:
“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”
Again the details of my story, although very precious to me, are not important. But over time my husband also fell in love—both with his heavenly spouse and his earthly one! He began to see me in a different light; something he says is far more beautiful or appealing than anything I may wear, how my body may look or how attractive I may outwardly appear. It was my being a ‘1 Peter 3’ wife that my husband says helped him turn back to Christ, repent of his sin, and ultimately reconcile and redeem our marriage, which, by the way, is now far better than my wildest dreams could ever have imagined. We are now two Christians walking together in love with Christ.
Going against the grain
All of this goes completely against the world’s view and even sadly the view of many within the Church, but I believe women who live totally sold out for Christ; living in full obedience to him, will have a peace and joy that no earthly relationship can ever offer or give. So if you find yourself in a horrendously difficult marriage that humanly looks beyond redemption, do not lose heart but instead steep your minds in God’s word and build your relationship with Christ. Concentrate on your own walk as the “1 Peter 3 wife” demonstrates, that by the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, our husbands may be won for Christ, not by a word but by the way we live.
“I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me” —Galatians 2: 20
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