3 Ways to Confront Pornography

Marriage / Musings Michelle Lindsey November 10, 2013

Porn is the monster that looms over us, and we pretend it’s not there. It  seems to out of control and too impossible to contain, much less eradicate because it has become mainstream. It is one click away. It erodes childhoods, destroys marriages, and warps perspectives. It robs us of intimacy, trust, and peace. It harms our children, sometimes very severely. The thing I don’t understand is we are so quiet about this? Countless times have I heard porn named as the start of downward spiral in a relationship.

Pornography, You have millions in your grasp. You keep them isolated because they are afraid to speak of you. Porn. Pornography. You are horrid, actually. And I will say your name out loud, because I am tired of letting you bully people and trick them into staying silent. 

Every second 30,000 people are viewing pornography. More than half of our population feels viewing pornography is acceptable, but they aren’t connecting the dots. Why are our children so sexual in their dress and behavior? Why are they acting out in horrific ways with their peers, doing things almost unheard of two decades ago? How have we let this danger walk right into our homes? Are we so weak or ignorant that we can’t protect our families? Or is denial just easier? Oral sex is becoming alarmingly more common in schools. Many kids will tell you it is commonplace. The average age of a child viewing pornography is ten. The connection between porn use and depression is heartbreaking. People who view porn are suffering loss in almost every area of their lives. 10 billion dollars a year is spent on porn in America alone.

I remember when people used to be shocked to hear of someone struggling over pornography. Now, it’s almost as people are too numb to even feel outraged. It’s too much too cope with. The answer seems too far gone. It’s beyond our control and the demand keeps propelling this problem forward. It matters not that the porn industry is feeding, even forcing it’s images to people starting at a very young age. That is the driving force behind the demand. The porn industry is focused on hooking children at a young age, securing future revenue. The taxes paid to our government by the porn industry makes me realize why more regulations haven’t been put into place. How are you planning to protect your kids from something that can be privately accessed in seconds? The long term damage is devastating, so please don’t wait to address it.  Our children are being victimized in their own homes.

I know one thing: our hearts are deceitful and we are lured into temptation each day. We fail and we view pornography but we are afraid to reach out for help because it’s considered a “private sin.” People find it discouraging to go to others, including the church, because everyone seems to struggle with it nowadays. It seems like a lost cause, doesn’t it? Well, it can’t be a lost cause, because God is still on the throne and here are three things I know.

Rather than keeping it private, here are three ways to confront pornography:

1. When you fail, run straight to Jesus

He is the one you can go to when you feel trapped by pornography. God is not only bigger than this monster, he conquered it (along with every other sin) 2,000 years ago on the cross. You will be pulled by sexual temptation. If you fall down in this area, go to Him. Tell Him you need his strength. Tell Him you feel weak, afraid and vulnerable and ask Him to help you. He won’t abandon you even if you are in the middle of addiction. He can and will lead you to freedom from pornography. Remember that it’s not just the enemy, or the world that is trying to destroy you, it’s yourself as well. Your flesh is actively working against you. And the only remedy for sin and the misery it causes,  is Jesus. You can’t manage your own failures, so don’t waste your time trying. God has good intentions towards you and will untangle you from pornography.

2. Speak up

Talk about pornography with your spouse. Talk about it with your kids. Talk about it at Bible study and school. Take the mystery out of it and call it what it is. Flip the light on, and watch it scamper away under the scrutiny of truth and scripture. As you begin to discuss it, deal with one another with love and understanding. We need to show each other grace as we deal with this issue. Ask your friends how they are doing in this area. Keep each other in the loop and don’t act like it’s some secret that needs to be kept. It needs to be out in the open and confronted.

3. Educate yourself with facts

Research ways to protect your family. Get intentional about keeping it out of your home. Install a filter or use Covenant Eyes. Parents, be examples to your kids by also installing filters on your devices. Don’t hand your child an iPod out of the box without placing restrictions and safety features on it first. Install a router that blocks pornographic content from entering your home. Have family meetings to talk about how everyone is doing in this area. Don’t let pornography isolate a family member just because you are afraid to face it if this happens—years can pass before they reach out for help. Josh McDowell has amazing resources for families. I appreciate his voice in this battle. Go to his website, Just 1 Click Away, for support and education about the effect pornography is having on our culture.

“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” —John 16:33

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