Once my fear is triggered, everything feels ready to crash down around me. If one area seems out of control, ALL areas feel out of control and I run for cover. I even start to plan for things that might happen. Maybe a health crisis will strike. Maybe my marriage will get shaky. Maybe my…
I recently had my seventh brain MRI in the past five years, and though you’d think I’d be used to them by now, they always scare the ever living heck out of me. And it’s not the loud noises, or the fact that my head is locked into a metal cage and I’m not allowed…
The past few days I’ve been seeing a long checklist template floating around Instagram stories, with a bunch of “New Year’s Resolutions.” You’re supposed to check all of the ones you’d like to accomplish in 2018. Things that would make you look like a real loser if you didn’t check the boxes—volunteering, donating money to…
I’m catching on to the fact that life is hard. In fact, it is so difficult at times, I start to question God’s wisdom in all of this. I mean, come on. Here we are, running around on this earth, trying our best not to get devastated by some awful thing. You may say you…
If you’re wondering why I haven’t blogged in, well, too long, it’s this: Pregnancy and motherhood have kicked my butt. Scares and ultrasounds through the first trimester. Monitoring our son in Seattle every few weeks during my second trimester, all to be told he looked perfect at 29 weeks. Then being in the hospital twice for…
I watched my husband fix his hair, brush his teeth, and spray on his cologne. He grabbed his coffee and kissed us all goodbye. I felt a wave of bitterness well up in me. I don’t know where it came from but I knew it wasn’t good. Off he went. Again. I chose the life…
Anxiety can be such a beast. It ruins good days and makes bad days feel impossible. The hardest part about it, is how little others understand unless they have experienced it. Here are some things people without anxiety like to tell people with anxiety: Just tell yourself things are fine Count your blessings. Things could…
I struggle with anxiety. I am a worrier. Sue me. I have been told its probably hard for my husband that I deal with anxiety, and I heartily agree. But its even harder on me. I have also been told that Christianity must not be working because if it worked, I wouldn’t be so fearful…
This world is so scary sometimes. I had to stop watching the news because it was so depressing. Fear is something we battle our whole lives. It doesn’t matter if you’re a man, woman, or child. It hits us all and we find ourselves scrambling for cover. God knew we were going to be running…
2015 was hard. January brought an infertility diagnosis. February brought surgery for my grandpa to remove his lung cancer. March brought a surgery gone wrong for my aunt, which left us pleading for her life. April brought a positive pregnancy test. May brought lots of puking and anxiety, and on my birthday, the devastating loss…