Fight of the Week: Always Be Kinder Than You Feel

Fight of the Week Michelle Lindsey September 7, 2013

While at the grocery store yesterday, my daughter asked me if we could have onion rings for dinner. I started to say no because I didn’t feel confident that I could make them. I have loved onion rings since I was a little girl, but it seemed to me it was not possible to make them myself. I have always thought it best to leave it to the professionals.

I decided to throw caution to the wind and told Autumn to gather some Walla Walla onions from the bin because we were going to indeed make onion rings for dinner. Back at home, I nervously mixed up some grain-free batter and deep-fried them. They looked pretty legit, bubbling in the oil as they slightly puffed up around the edges. My kitchen smelled like the county fair. I was pretty proud as I presented the golden brown rings at the dinner table. I even coated and fried two mushrooms so I could really knock my husband’s socks off. I had more onions than batter so I put the rest of the cut rings into a glass dish so I could make more the next day.

After dinner everyone was helping do the dishes. My husband looked out the window while he rinsed a dish and wondered out loud if the chickens would eat all of the onions he just threw out for them. This was our conversation:

Me: WHAT? You didn’t really give the chickens the onions.

Him: Yes

Me: No

Him: Yes, I did.

(My head snapped around to see the dish of onions was indeed missing.)

Me: You gave my WALLA WALLA onions to the chickens? But they were nicely arranged in a tupperware dish!

Him: But we always give the chickens leftover veggie scraps.

Me: Those weren’t scraps. Those were beautiful onions hand cut into rings.

Him: Sorry, I didn’t know. (grimacing)

(Okay, this is where I should have dropped it. Because the guy was sorry, it didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things, and onions were not a rare commodity. But I didn’t drop it.)

Me: Do you know how much a Walla Walla goes for these days? I was going to use those tomorrow. I had them all ready.

Him: I don’t mind, I will buy you more. Besides, the chickens will like them.

Me: Our eggs will taste like onions.

Him: So? That will be great.

Me: Do you know how much work grocery shopping is? It’s so hard keeping everything I need on hand so I can make dinners. It’s so much effort going to the store, taking things off the shelf, putting them in the cart, paying for them, putting them in the car…

Him: BABE! Will you stop?

(At this point I realized I was putting a stupid onion in front of my husband’s feelings. He was only trying to be helpful. What was my problem? I leaned over the counter and peered out the kitchen window to see the chickens eating my ringed onions . . . I made a choice.)

Me: Well . . . I suppose it’s good for them to eat some onions right before flu season. I bet it will boost their immune system and maybe even fight off a cold.

Him: (brightening) Yes, look at them. They are eating them. They like them.

Me: Yes, they do. Look at them gobbling them up. So healthy for them.

Him: See?

Me: Yep, I see.

Kindness matters. How often do we focus on silly little things and make them huge things? And in the process, how many times do we forget to consider others’ feelings? It’s not worth hurting each other while we reserve the right to be correct, or self-focused or even petty. If it is true that we should “pick our battles,” I am pretty sure I should never choose to fight over a plate of onions.

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.” —Aesop

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