Blogging often causes me to think about all of the things I should be doing, but sometimes I forget about the things I shouldn’t be doing.
I want to clue you in on one thing: I’m a real loser sometimes. In fact, I feel like a pretty terrible wife at times. I do try to be a good wife, and I try to make Kyle happy.
But sometimes, I don’t try. Sometimes I snap at him for trying to hug me. I get angry at him for things that don’t matter. I make faces at him when he turns around. I repeat things he says in a whiny voice. I’m sarcastic a cynical (and that’s a bit more often than “sometimes”). I even try to blame it on my mood swings, but let’s face it, I could try harder if I wanted to.
Yesterday we were making dinner, and I started smelling burning. “Really? You think that’s ‘low’? That’s higher than medium.” I said to Kyle, quite condescendingly. “You set the temperature . . .” he responded, calmly. Yikes, that’s right. I felt pretty stupid—gotta love those little “loser wife” moments!
I wish I could say I was some amazing, patient, godly wife, but honestly, I kind of suck sometimes. I’m trying, and luckily Kyle is so very patient, but I’m extremely far from perfect.
I just want you to know that you’re not alone when you feel like a failure. All wives have their moments of disaster. Don’t be too hard on yourself, and remember that you’re a work in progress. Accept God’s amazing grace, and keep pushing forward. Pray for patience, and be honest with God about your failures. Ask for forgiveness, from both God and your husband. Don’t try to shove it under the rug.
Oh, and be a little more honest with the wives around you. You’ll feel so much better.
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