“When you pray for your husband, especially in the hopes of changing him, you can surely expect some changes. But the first changes won’t be in him. They’ll be in you.” –Stormie Omartian, The Power of a Praying Wife
“I’ll pray for you”—something I tell those around me on a regular basis.
I find myself spending most of my prayer time talking to God about those around me—their struggles, trials, and fears—but how often do I pray for my husband? I often pray about him; I pray that God would change his mind on a certain topic, or that he would come to see my point of view, but it’s much less often that I pray for him. Instead of praying for the burdens he’s carrying, his strength, or his hopes, I usually find myself praying prayers that would benefit me, rather than him.
It’s important to remember that his heart isn’t the only one that needs to change, in fact, many times I’ve found my heart to be the main one in need of changing. Often times God will change your heart in the process.
As wives, we should be prayer warriors for our husbands, rather than trying to use prayer as a way to control their opinions.
Come before God completely open to what he might have for you, and don’t be surprised if that includes changing your attitude and saying sorry.
“If I had cherished iniquity in my heart, the Lord would not have listened. But truly God has listened; he has attended to the voice of my prayer. Blessed be God, because he has not rejected my prayer or removed his steadfast love from me.” —Psalm 66:18-20
Just the other day I was praying for God to change Kyle’s heart.
I was beyond frustrated with him, and just couldn’t seem to see his point of view. And instead of praying that we would come to some sort of agreement, I was praying that he would come around to agree with me. I was praying that God would help him come around to see where I was coming from.
In the end, I slowly felt my heart softening toward him. I didn’t instantly agree with him, or forget that I was upset, but I began realizing how miniscule the issue was. Here I was honestly expecting that prayer to change his heart in some way, and it ended up changing my own heart.
Spend your time praying for your husband, instead of about him. Ask him what you can be praying about, and follow through with it. And when you’re in the middle of an argument, try praying for God to change your heart. Pray for your heart to soften toward your husband. Ask God to change your heart, instead of his.
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