Why You Should Balance Truth with Love

Truth and love should go hand in hand when we communicate with our spouses. Without that powerful balance, we can run into a lot of strife. If we only speak truth, without love backing up our words, we can damage closeness. If we speak only in love without any real truth, we won’t see much change or progress. I often picture Truth and Love walking next to us throughout our day, with forgiveness right on their heels.

I am not a naturally organized person. This has plagued me most of my years as a mother. I don’t keep lists and I detest meal plans. I miss appointments again and again—to the point where I’ve been banned from dentists’ offices. Those things just mock me and remind me that I am failing. I prefer to not see what I still need to do—ignorance really is bliss at times.

Speak truth with oneness in mind

I am more  spontaneous fun loving. (Code for always late, and chaotic.) I even forgot my ten-year-old at soccer practice recently. He walked through the door after his coach drove him home and told me thanks a lot, because his coach had to bring him to a parent teacher conference with her. My husband could easily speak truth to me without love regarding these things. He would have every right to be frustrated and upset. Instead, after years of  sanctification and maturing, he deals with me in understanding over this issue. He tries to help me be organized and he pitches in to carry the slack in these areas because he knows I do the same for him in areas of struggle for him.

There are times when we need to speak truth to our spouses. If you understand the power of grace and forgiveness in your own life, and forgive your spouse in your heart before you confront them about an issue, your spouse will  be more likely to receive what you have to say. If you speak truth only to prove you are right, or to make yourself feel better, you will most likely find yourself in the middle of a fight. If you feel angry that your spouse has wronged you, and feel superior, you might receive backlash rather than understanding and a desire for change. It’s okay to feel angry or upset but before confronting your spouse, it is important to reflect on your own need for grace and forgiveness each day.

Love should cushion truth

If you find yourself avoiding truth in the name of love, you might find you have a shallow relationship. Avoiding conflict isn’t always the best way to live in harmony with your spouse. After time, bitterness can set in if you continually brush things under the rug. You can speak truth to each other when love is present. Even if you are discussing a serious issue, your heavy words will land softer in you speak them in love.  If your goal in sharing truth is deeper intimacy, and a stronger marriage, then tell your spouse exactly what you want to say, and back it up with forgiveness and love. Share your heart with them and refrain from making them feel unworthy or belittled.

When we balance truth and love with a humble attitude, we spark intimacy and spur growth in our marriages. I remind myself that while I was dead in sin, and in need of a Savior, Christ loved me so much. The truth was that I was separated from Him, but he rescued me when He died for me. Truth, then Love. Failure, but forgiven. Let’s look through this lens as we walk through the process of forgiveness with our spouses each day, continually balancing truth with love.

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